Saturday, May 16, 2009

Schizophrenia, who are you? What are you? You exist as a mirror to the world, become what everyone wants to be, you my friend, a chameleon of various colors, a whole wide world of personalities, fake.

Some say you're a nutter, type of butter that we eat for supper. (it makes total sense if you think) I say, things aren't relapsing, world goes round and round and round baby right round like a record right round. You are saying to yourself right now, "WAIT! This is not what I paid for to come here to see! This is not why I typed www.foolball.blogspot.com!" I say, read between the lines.

I'm strong, like a rock in the torrential waves. Nothing fazes me, but you become a boring shit, you become trapped in that rock, you really want to move around, thrown about, get lost, go on roads of no return, hide from Mas Selamat(no more). Yet, where art thou? Like a fossil, big fucking fossil. Looks great, looks cool, fantastic, mystery, history, asshole. Yes, all that but so what? It'll just be like the museum, see but non-touch, you can't experience it, only visual and audio orgasmic bliss. (You can't get pregnant through webcam, unless your Internet Service Provider allows you to send spermatoza over)

Wham Bam Bam Bam Lamp Lamb Whamp Damn. I havent felt like this for sometime. It's the feeling of, adventure readers. It's not a high, or adrenaline rush. It's something else, prides itself on fueling you through whatever you do, and takes all social conditioning all the way out. (ask melvin at pasir ris). Si si.

I must say, words can't really describe the complete rollercoaster I did. Corkscrew, Tempest, Hell Raiser? Screw tempt raise. Yes, I did break every single law and rules in the Black Book of S. Every single thing oblierated by one innocuous irrational sentence. Yes, I did expect what's going to be coming on. Yet, Vini Vidi. Verci? Not yet.

The thing about finding out that, there is a snowflake out there exactly your shape, is astounding. I managed to find my own smell finally today. Suddenly. I had the idea of pouring the perfume all over me, drowning myself until 1:00.

We're just prdinary people, it isnt about visual pleasure anymore, it's secondary. Neither is it sensory or audio. It is that connection, dangerous. Once you've tasted the Apple it sets the devil alight in your tiny hearts. Though I may have killed myself, Lucifer lives.(just a metaphor, dont read too much into it)

hello everyone, it's me, jake.


that's all folks


good night. or morning?
SiYuan at 5:21 AM