Friday, June 26, 2009

It's June the 26th, I can safely say it's over half a year since my New Year's Resolution, and things are looking great. For the first time since the year I didnt do a New Year Resolution, I've actually completed one of my 12 Herculean tasks that I've thrown myself into.

I've stayed clean since January the 1st, yes that's right, $200 here I come.


There's many thoughts running through my flu-infected mind right now ( correlation between flu and messy thoughts?), and none of them's what I'm supposed to remember before D-Day (2nd of July) unfortunately. Where else to spit it out, but over here where my regurgitation is worth its weight in gold. Sometimes I do wonder though, what happens with Midas touched his shit after a day at Muthu's Green Curry. Would the shit dipped into actually turn his finger into gold, will people actually pave off with his diarrhrea?

Just read the best article for a long time, no doubt, Alexander~'s again. He appears to have everything going for him, fantastic inner-game, great outer-game, the douchey looks and all the dough. I am however very sure he was never born like this, like all others, he must have tried countless times, failed continually, and finally understood the principles. Along with his experiences and armed with that everlasting inner strength, that's him today.

Many people still have the idea that self-development is a complex process that often requires a significant level of psychological or social insights, and that all they can really do is what other self-development "gurus" tell them to because they can't possible figure it out for themselves. I'd like to tear down that concept real quick, cause I think it's essential for someone who wants to get into self-development to realize just how simple it can be and how much they can do on their own.

If you want to start working on yourself and you're not sure where to start, try just taking the time first to really think about who you really want to be. Just sit down and imagine a "perfect" version of yourself, imagine what you really want to achieve in terms of your own character, and then write it out in simple lines; as many as you can think of. Examples could be "I want to be someone who is perfectly at ease in all social situations," or "I want to be someone who is able to really manage his emotions," or "I want to be someone who's fit and healthy," etc.

In other words, identify what it is that you truly want to improve about yourself by beginning with the end in mind; imagining what you want to accomplish.

When you have done that and you have a clear list of concrete goals, you will find that self-development automatically becomes so much easier and clearer for you. You now know what you want to work on, and in most cases will have a clear idea of how to work on it. Keep that list you made in mind as you go about your day, ask yourself with every decision you make whether or not it is in alignment with your goals and whether it contributes in any way to becoming that better version of yourself.

That's all folks,

oh yeah, covet not your neighbour's ass (check 9th commandment)

Good night~
SiYuan at 8:14 PM

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Just watched that video over and over again. Brilliant stuff, words of gold, actions speaks way louder. Escalation was top class that. No wonder he's an instructor, I've got much work to do about.

Shall start off with a little field report about what's been up lately.

Tuesday, I think, was a night out day. It started off very simply as a study day, god knows what happens, morphing took place and there I was downing shots of tequila(without cleavage salt this time). This reminds me, Power Rangers has been and always have been close to my heart, but there's a question that troubles me. Was it the Red Ranger or the Green Ranger that became the White Ranger? It's causing me no ends of sleep. Do tag, and make it quick if you know the answer.

It was fun alright, then again my mind started going off again when I took a slump. Thoughts and ideas of all kinds went round my head, spinning me right round baby right round like a top. Here's a snippet of what goes on in me.

We humans are all sadomachistic by nature, and I highlight sadistic. We like to be hurt and always try to be hurt. Let's just take relationships as an example. I'm not talking about the puppy dog ones, or the ones of "dive into you, forget what you're going through". No no no. What I'm on about are those who changed your nappies when you were shitting yourself at the smallest sounds of squeaking, who smacked you around when you failed your test. Who was sitting next to you in class, the ones who taught you how to cheat in exams, how to date girls. Even those whom you hated with your guts, and couldnt wait for them to drop dead six feet under.

Why I say so? We try so hard to make those relationships, only to see it break, which in turn causes us only more misery and antidorphins. Everyone dies and everyone lies, so dont' say no. Truth is, you'll enter and leave the same way you did, alone and nude. All bonds just end up taking more than you took, nothing scientific about it. Ecclesiastias mentioned briefly about it, how we're all like this. I know, this may sound unlike the new-age shit you are fed with daily, about how you must love and be loved and all. Really, if you dont want to ever be sad, live in a hole with a dog named Scoot, or Rick Astley, because he will never let you down, never give you up, never run around and desert you.

But! That does not mean I am against them, in fact I crave for relationships like all youse out there. Yes indeed, I am a sadist as well, for a good cause. I like to have fun, I like to be happy, I live you. because everything comes multi-faceted, and its up to intepretation of how emotions are, you never know. That's why I say yes to everything, because even cleaning up shit may bring me to better places, knowing someone i wouldnt want to may lead to better things, or even open up a new window in my heart.

Do think, do tell.

That's all folks

Good night.
SiYuan at 11:04 PM