Thursday, June 18, 2009

Just watched that video over and over again. Brilliant stuff, words of gold, actions speaks way louder. Escalation was top class that. No wonder he's an instructor, I've got much work to do about.

Shall start off with a little field report about what's been up lately.

Tuesday, I think, was a night out day. It started off very simply as a study day, god knows what happens, morphing took place and there I was downing shots of tequila(without cleavage salt this time). This reminds me, Power Rangers has been and always have been close to my heart, but there's a question that troubles me. Was it the Red Ranger or the Green Ranger that became the White Ranger? It's causing me no ends of sleep. Do tag, and make it quick if you know the answer.

It was fun alright, then again my mind started going off again when I took a slump. Thoughts and ideas of all kinds went round my head, spinning me right round baby right round like a top. Here's a snippet of what goes on in me.

We humans are all sadomachistic by nature, and I highlight sadistic. We like to be hurt and always try to be hurt. Let's just take relationships as an example. I'm not talking about the puppy dog ones, or the ones of "dive into you, forget what you're going through". No no no. What I'm on about are those who changed your nappies when you were shitting yourself at the smallest sounds of squeaking, who smacked you around when you failed your test. Who was sitting next to you in class, the ones who taught you how to cheat in exams, how to date girls. Even those whom you hated with your guts, and couldnt wait for them to drop dead six feet under.

Why I say so? We try so hard to make those relationships, only to see it break, which in turn causes us only more misery and antidorphins. Everyone dies and everyone lies, so dont' say no. Truth is, you'll enter and leave the same way you did, alone and nude. All bonds just end up taking more than you took, nothing scientific about it. Ecclesiastias mentioned briefly about it, how we're all like this. I know, this may sound unlike the new-age shit you are fed with daily, about how you must love and be loved and all. Really, if you dont want to ever be sad, live in a hole with a dog named Scoot, or Rick Astley, because he will never let you down, never give you up, never run around and desert you.

But! That does not mean I am against them, in fact I crave for relationships like all youse out there. Yes indeed, I am a sadist as well, for a good cause. I like to have fun, I like to be happy, I live you. because everything comes multi-faceted, and its up to intepretation of how emotions are, you never know. That's why I say yes to everything, because even cleaning up shit may bring me to better places, knowing someone i wouldnt want to may lead to better things, or even open up a new window in my heart.

Do think, do tell.

That's all folks

Good night.
SiYuan at 11:04 PM