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I think sometimes I'm not really myself. It's as if something has taken over me temporarily and transformed me for a short period of time, making me a modern day Jekyll and Hyde. Which is true sometimes, because I ponder as I'm about to slumber (after all the phone calls), what the hell was I thinking or doing? It's strange how this Hyde would come out only in the presence of some, it's almost like my potion comes deep in my mind, I'm a chameleon which adapts to presence. Now the strange occurence being, I actually love being Hyde more than what I do for Jekyll. It seems that, that's really whom I want to be! Is it true now that we all harbour our inner demons, that we're all made and prepped to sin? Talking about sin, I recently caught a rather old and controversial movie by Mel Gibson, Passion of the Christ. I must say, I couldnt sit straight throughout the 2 hours, and sweat drops started forming in my eyes. Strange place for a condensation of saline! Right after the movie, I felt extremely remorseful and did a google search on "I'm sorry", which made me feel worser inside. Now dont' get me wrong, by feeling worse it actually made me better after some thinking and an epiphany. oh God. Truth be told, lately I've been getting that urge of impulsiveness that drove a few away. Of course you made me think that, life would be brilliant with you around, and you never cease to remind me of elements about my prior that makes me go Gaga(not agaga). Really comfortable sometimes, maybe too much of it. It's going against what I've been standing for since the start of 2009, with my pot of gold at the end of 2010. Besides, you've been clean most of your life, and I don't want to be the one who taints you. You haven't half the idea about me, really. Much like a drug, I'll wean off you slowly and painfully, and probably eke out a poem which sends me scholardom. Y'know, I think I like you. oh God. That's all folks Good Day. SiYuan at 6:23 PM |
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